Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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