It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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