It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
