I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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