i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize