So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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