You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
