I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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