i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
