Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
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I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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