You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is wine microwaveable?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
