At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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