Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
