Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
