Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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