That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
