How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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