I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
