it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
