My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
