it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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