I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
