i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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