Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
