She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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