Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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