Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
did you just send me my own nude
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
