If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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