Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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