so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
