I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize