your thong is hanging out like whoa
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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