kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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