so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
