I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
