shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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