GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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