Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
