this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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