Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
