she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
