Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
