Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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