And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
