let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
