when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
