i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
