Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
40s are totally the cure
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
