That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
