did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize