Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
