I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will be naked everywhere
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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