Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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