At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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