I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
