Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
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Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize