Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
