I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
