Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
